WOOHOO! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!
by silverNsirius4ever
Summary: What happens when you put a situation on a Marauder’s hands and watch him react? What happens with another Marauder? Give him an empty school and no rules and possibly some shaving cream and see what happens.


**Chapter One**

**The Second Biggest Refrigerator**

Sirius slowly opened his eyes. As his brain took in every bed and every window and every trunk in the dormitory he felt an odd, excited tingling feeling in the back of his neck that he always felt on the morning of the first day of school. He had woken up a few minutes late and was the only one in the dormitory, and he savored the feeling. Little did he know there was going to be a lot more of that feeling to savor. He dressed slowly and went absent mindedly down to the common room. There was nobody there.

_That's funny,_ he thought, _usually the fan girls are here by now._ He shrugged and proceeded down to the Great Hall to have breakfast. It was empty and the golden plates on the tables were too. He sat down in his usual spot near the end of the table and waited. Students were supposed to get up at seven fifteen. It was now seven twenty. He waited and looked at his watch occasionally. At seven thirty he decided to go down to the kitchens to investigate. He walked down to the kitchens, tickled the pear and opened the door.

"Oi!" He called, "Anyone in there!" No answer. He entered gingerly and looked around. No house elves.

"Hello!" He yelled, "House elves?" No answer. He proceeded out of the kitchens to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyles were gone so he just walked right in. There was nobody in Dumbledore's office. He noticed it was silent and looked up at the portraits which he usually ignored the many times he was in here. There were the frames, and there were the backgrounds, but no people in the frames. Sirius was really starting to get freaked out. He returned to the Great Hall and tried to comprehend what was happening.

_Hogwarts is empty… There's nobody around, _he thought pained, _They'll be back tomorrow though, that's what happens in those muggle move-eyes we saw in muggle studies… they'll come back tomorrow. _Then Sirius was hit by a stroke of brilliance that enabled him to comprehend the situation.

"WOOHOO!" He cried, "I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! What do I want to do though…?" Sirius thought so much that Remus would've been proud of him. Eventually Sirius figured out what he wanted to do. He returned to the empty kitchens and slung an apron around his neck. It only came down to his waist but Sirius didn't seem to notice. He was too busy looking at a door. He had seen most of the kitchens, but had never been allowed through this door. He turned the doorknob and…. and… OH MY GOSH IT WAS LOCKED! Sirius banged at the door, pulled at the knob and tried his best to physically open the door, giving himself a painful bruise on his left hand and a throbbing big toe. He then realized he could just use _Alohamora_ and kicked himself.

"Ouch!" He yelled, pulled himself together and pointing his wand at the door said, "_Alohamora_." The lock clicked and the door swung open to reveal the second biggest refrigerator Sirius would ever see in his whole life (don't ask). His jaw dropped at seeing this enormous refrigerator. It had to be as tall as the castle. Instead of one door there were many, many doors, in order for the house elves to be able to open the refrigerator. They were in at least twenty neat columns up and down the enormous refrigerator. Under each door there was a flat, square platform held by magic in midair (undoubtedly so house elves could reach the doors) and a ladder ran up the platforms by each column in order for house elves to reach the platforms without having to apparate too much.

"That is one BIG refrigerator." He gaped. It was. Suddenly he had an idea. He conjured up a big bad and climbed up the closest ladder and stopped at the third platform up. He opened the door and was hit by a burst of cold air (go figure). He closed his eye, reached in and grabbed something from inside. With his eyes still closed he put the item in the bag and proceeded up. He stopped several more times and grabbed several more random items without looking. Eventually he looked down and realized that he was incredibly high. It took him a few minutes to climb down (with his eyes open) and when he was down he dumped the contents of the bag out and looked at them. There was: A bag of muffins, several green grapes, barbeque sauce, a can of condensed pumpkin juice, some whipped cream, three eggs, a box of oatmeal, crystallized pineapple, and for some reason, James's old pink hairbrush.

"Excellent," Sirius said grinning, "This is just what I need." After several hours, one singed eyebrow, and a flour coated wand, Sirius not only managed to get covered in oatmeal, but also created a very strange dish. It looked like it had muffins, several green grapes, barbeque sauce, a can of condensed pumpkin juice, some whipped cream, three eggs, a box of oatmeal, and crystallized pineapple in it. Oh yeah it did! Sirius had fortunately left out James's hairbrush. Sirius rummaged around the kitchens for a fork and upon finding one, looked down at his dish and bravely took a bite. He gagged and immediately spit it out.

"I guess Sirius the Chef is out of the question…" he mumbled, "_Scourgify_." He added cleaning up himself but leaving the kitchens covered in food (so like him).

Walking off absent mindedly in a random direction Sirius found himself walking towards the Slytherin common room, and remembering that there the gargoyles had gone from the entrance to Dumbledore's office, he wondered if the door was open. Sure enough, upon arriving, he saw that there was no door and the Slytherin common room was wide open. A mischievous grin slowly spread across his face.

"This should be interesting," He said still smirking. He walked inside and waved his wand, conjuring up many cans of shaving cream. He put it EVERYWHERE. He put it on the tables, the chairs, inside pillows, inside underclothes. He had even summoned his broom to be able to enter the girl's dormitories and covered everything in there with shaving cream. Upon Finding Snape's stuff, he went all out crazy with it. His trunk ended up full of feathers and bird droppings and his bed jinxed to make a loud farting noise and turn into a giant caterpillar when sat upon.

It was getting late and Sirius decided to go up to the Gryffindor boy's dormitories and turn in. It was more awkward than it sounds though. He was used to people being in the beds around his, and joking around with James before he went to sleep. After a few hours of struggling, he finally fell asleep.


End file.
